To those that really care and were there for me last night. Thanks! I needed that. I feel much better today, like I knew I would.

I just have to resign to fate that I will never be liked by some people no matter what I do. So, I just ignore them and go on. Apparently some people were born without compassion, which is extremely sad.

I suppose I can live with being hated and dispised, because if someone lacks compassion, no amount love or words can change their minds. In the end they will never be happy and therefore end up being bitter and alone. But, I think they would rather have it that way. Miserable existence, if you ask me. But people like that are creatures of habit and used to it, I guess.

I just have to realize that the opinions of these people are built on years of jealousy and spite. So, even if I am hated, it doesn't matter. There are plenty of people that do care and love me.

The opinion of few does not affect the opinion of many and I guess I should live by my favorite quote here: "The knowledge of the other existence does not threaten the detail of my own."

So thanks again to my real friends, even though we are divided by space, time and miles, connected only through cyberspace, I truly love you guys and appreciate everything you do for me.
True friendship cannot be denied nor hidden.

And some things are not worth my time. Especially if I am viewed as less of a human being to some. I can't fix that. Their level of perfection is set too high, even in their own minds. So, I guess I can live with being considered sub-par in all I do. Like in my Mom's eyes, I just don't quite measure up. I can live with that, cause some people really aren't worth my time if they are going to be like that.


Aloha!
~Angi

Friends, Cousins, Sisters and Brothers:

Yes, I really should be in bed, fast asleep, but I am sitting here in front of my computer instead.
I hope I can get up in 5 hours to get my kids ready for school. XD
I feel a little tired, but on night's like this, my brain is too active to rest.

Also, as you may or may not know, I opened my commissions. The details are on my ShoutBoard if anyone cares.
Although, despite doing that, I still feel like taking a break. Maybe I should just draw commissions. That way I don't give up drawing completely.

Other than that, nothing else to report here. Everybody is healthy and doing fine. XD So, I guess in this case, no news is good news.

Aloha!
~Angi

Friends, Cousins, Sisters and Brothers:

Back after a two day hiatus, trying to keep it from turning into a two month or two year hiatus.
I am starting to feel that itch to not draw anymore. I think that is why I opened my commissions, to at least give myself some inspiration or goal to attain.

A lot of emotions running around here cause of what happened on Fort Hood on Thursday afternoon. Growing up in Killeen, the adjacent town, I can feel the pain. I feel so bad for those families involved. Thankfully, none of my friends or family were hurt or worse in the incident. (Thank you Amanda for staying home that day). But, being the community and town I spent a good part of my life in, I can't help but have my heart go out to all of them. I don't know what drives the souls of man sometimes to do such things.

Not much more to report. As I said before, I so want to move. I think the songs, "We Gotta Get Out of This Place" and "All I Want is a Life" have become our mantra. We need a bigger place...without so much of my mother. Grrrr... There is so much hell and shit there that I don't even want to go into it again. >_<
I keep trying to see the light at the end of that tunnel.

Gotta go finish the laundry.

Aloha!
~Angi

Friends, Cousins, Sisters and Brothers:

No, this is not a quiz thing that I took from anybody. With all the negative feelings I experienced not too long ago and the depression I seemed to go through as well. I thought I needed a pick me up in my soul and decided to list things that I love. If you don't want to read it, fine with me. I just like to share because I am like that. So, without further ado...

100 Things I love:

1. God and Jesus
2. Robert
3. My kids
4. My extended family
5. My Friends
6. Ferb and Stitch
7. Cartoons
8. Road Trips
9. Outsider Art
10. When it rains at night and I have no where to go
11. Thunderstorms
12. Brisk Fall Days
13. Warm Spring Days
14. Urban Exploration
15. Scaring Myself Silly
16. Making Love
17. Drawing
18. Singing
19. In accordance with number 18, singing at the top of my lungs while driving down the highway with the windows open
20. When my kids do something cute
21. Memories that last a lifetime
22. Disneyland
23. Taking pictures
24. Writing
25. Sprite
26. Snow Crab Legs
27. Anything my husband cooks
28. Babies
29. Being pregnant
30. Sleeping in late in the mornings
31. World of Warcraft
32. Long talks late into the night with good friends via Online or on the Phone
33. Meaningful relationships
34. Long walks through the park or on the beach
35. Holding hands
36. Hugs
37. Kisses
38. Spa Days
39. Girls night out
40. Good friends
41. Halloween
42. Christmas
43. Porche
44. Roller Coasters
45. Days when everything seems to go my way
46. When my children smile
47. Naps
48. Animation
49. When I find the perfect thing on sale
50. Role Playing
51. My friends' art and stories
52. Inspiration
53. Soy Ice Cream
54. Cuddling
55. Kitchy Americana
56. Route 66
57. Graveyards
58. Dancing when no one is watching
59. Singing in the shower
60. Long hot showers
61. Watching my kids' eyes light up
62. Surprise presents
63. Silver linings
64. Rainbows
65. The mountains
66. Sunsets
67. Sunrise
68. Hiking
69. Camping
70. Swimming
71. Skating and Ice Skating
72. Hot tea
73. Hawaii
74. California
75. Texas
76. My Lucky Brand jeans
77. Working out
78. Warm blankets
79. When people get along
80. Massages
81. Surprise calls from friends I haven't heard from in a while
82. Little things like a thumbs up when I do something that gets noticed
83. Sea World
84. The San Diego Zoo and Wild Animal Park
85. Balboa Park
86. Feeling renewed
87. Putting my kids' art on the fridge
88. Being a Mom
89. Still feeling sexy
90. Little Debbie Snacks
91. Picnics
92. Feeling accomplished
93. Getting all the chores done for the day
94. Marking how tall my kids are getting on the wall with a pencil
95. Football
96. When the kids are sleeping and I get some "me" time
97. Cycling
98. Putting puzzles together
99. Game Night
100. Knowing that when I finally do pass away, I will have lived a long and happy life.

And I probably missed a number in there. XD I know there are many more, but I don't want to bore anyone too much.


Aloha!
~Angi

Friends, Cousins, Sisters and Brothers:

I had the greatest time today with my kids! They bring me such joy!
I took them to "Day Out with Thomas" with my sister's family, my Mom, my Grandma (Nannie), my Cousin and her family and my Aunt Wanda and Uncle Jerry. There were 17 of us that went. Hehehe Robert didn't get to go. He had to work. D: He wished he could have though.

Anyway, it was a blast! If you don't know what it is, it is an event that travels the country (they may do it in the UK too, but I don't know). It is Thomas the Tank Engine, from the show, movies and books, that is life sized and pulls coaches that you get to ride on. Living events like that through the eyes of my children is so special and unique. They were beyond thrilled to be there and to actually ride on the train pulled by Thomas.

The got some stuff too. Lisa got a shirt, Bart got a pennant, I got tons of pictures and we all got enough memories to carry us far into old age. ^^

After the time there, we went to lunch at a very kewl restaurant called Stonewall's Restaurant. I had a delicious Bison Burger. I don't know if I can go back to hamburger after having that wonderful thing.
The place was awesome too, you could draw on the walls. I left my mark. I drew Phineas and signed it. I wanted to draw Ferb too, but we didn't have time. 9 kids can get restless in one place for too long.

I feel like a little kid after today. It was nice to get out and just have a fun day to relax and enjoy my family with not a care in the world. ^_^

One more thought, I listened to "Rainy Day Parade" like three times today and I know I put the courus in my last journal, but the whole thing pertains to how I feel. So, here it is:

I used to have the world in my handbag.
But somehow I managed to blow it.
I missed the bus,
I lost my heart,
And an awful lot of mornings.

I used to have the stars in my pocket.
Now I just watch them on TV.
Friends, they all run away.
But they'll be back again.

And we'll, we'll have a celebration.
I'm getting back on my medication
We'll have a rainy day parade!

I used to live with someone who loved me,
But somehow they ran out of patience.
I regret those words I said,
They were so uncalled for.

But can't you see the weather is changing?
Dark clouds over my head,
About to burst,
I've seen the worst,
Let it pour all day.

And well, I'm filled with good vibrations.
I've got that old sensation.
We'll have a rainy day parade.

You're gonna want me back.
I'm gonna let you in.
We're gonna wash our sins away.

I've got the world in my handbag.
I've got my notebook too.
I've got the stars in my pocket.
I'm gonna give it all to you!

And we'll, we'll take a long vacation.
We'll sweep across the nation.
We'll have a rainy day parade!
Getting back that old sensation!
Back on my medication!
We'll have a rainy day parade!

So, love you all! And to all my friends! I adore you guys!
Today has been an awesome day and just what I needed!

Aloha!
~Angi

Friends, Cousins, Sisters and Brothers: